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    • Career Management - Discomfort Is Good
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    • Career Management - Mentorship Explained
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- Wise Words -
Choosing a Mentor
by ilene rapkin 


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Do we really need another article on mentoring?

I think so because there has never been a time with this much noise in business nor has there been a time when trusting one another, sharing skills and points of view matters as it does right now. 
 
But where to start?

I’d like to offer a different perspective on how to choose your mentors, a gender-free perspective. 

As an executive coach, some might believe that I can list male and female traits specific to each gender. Beliefs aside, the fact is that truly great leaders lead by example. Truly great leaders teach through encouraging individual team members to try new paths and yes, accept mistakes and learn from them.

With that in mind, here are personality traits and skills which I recommend you look for in your mentors and why these qualities are essential for you to become a successful team player and eventually an effective manager and leader:
 
Candid: a mentor should be open, honest and articulate about his/her suggestions. Seek a mentor who is an accomplished communicator.
 
Authentic: Search for a mentor who is known for his/her honesty, someone who is a consummate professional and who you can trust.
 
Supportive: Choose a mentor who is widely connected and is willing to share his/her network and introduce you to accomplished executives in his/her field.
 
Understanding: a mentor must be kind and empathetic. He/she should be able to remember that every career has ups and downs. Your mentor needs to be patient as you grow and develop your own set of values.
 
Knowledgeable: choose a mentor who has deep knowledge in your field and experience that has made him/her an acknowledged leader and innovator.
 
Experienced: look for a mentor with a track record in the discipline you want to learn. An experienced mentor understands the real-time issues facing a young professional as he/she learns specific practical skills to face the challenges and opportunities in their chosen field.
 
Solution-Oriented: Choose a mentor who has experience and understanding of what it takes to meet the most difficult challenges. A mentor who has a process that results in smart solutions to a team’s issues and opportunities, and produces the most positive outcomes for clients.
 
Collaborative: Choose a mentor who is laser-focused on working with colleagues effectively to find solutions rather than taking credit for success.
 
Intuitive: A mentor should be insightful and help you identify your career
goals. He or she should also help you find your own truths:  which career options are best for you, and offer direction as you strategize a smart work/life balance action plan.
 
Avoid the trap of assuming women are empathetic and men are not or that men are direct and women are not.
 
Successful men and women share many of the qualities detailed in this article and are active listeners. Search for mentors who are open to your concerns and listen to you.
 
To succeed in business, we all need to work on the skills that may not come naturally to us. But it is crucial to make the effort. Take the time to find the mentors who are proven managers and leaders, and known for being memorable and effective.
 
Finally, your mentors should be great guides who lead by example.   Your mentor should be a trusted advisor who will stick with you as you navigate your career, patiently allow you to learn, encourage you to take chances, think out-of-the-box, profit from inevitable mistakes and ultimately make the right choices for yourself and the teams you lead.

For more on Mentorship see "What Is A Mentor Anyway?"
---
​ILENE RAPKIN is president of the workplace improvement agency, I Openers. Previously, she led sales and marketing teams at American Express Publishing, Condé Nast publishing and Primedia. Find her at: www.iopeners.net

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More Wise Words...

Achieve: Focus on Results
​
Achieve: Leading from the Start
Achieve: Small is BIG
Achieve: Take Action
Career Management: Annual Review. A "How To"
Career Management: Annual Review. As Career Plan
Career Management: Choosing a Mentor
Career Management: Careers Happen
Career Management: Career Journey
Career Management: Mentorship Explained
​
Career Management: Post Graduate Degrees
Career Management: Promotion Frustration 
Career Management: Moving up by moving out
Career Management: Selecting Your Company
Career Management: Understand Yourself
Finances: Retirement Saving (1)
Finances: Retirement Saving (2)
Hindsight: Balance the short- with the long-term
​Hindsight: Embrace learning and your manager
Hindsight: Focus at Work
Hindsight: Millennial Reflections
Hindsight: Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
​Hindsight: Take Advice Sparingly
Hindsight: Take a Career Mulligan
​
Hindsight: Transition from College
Hindsight: Winning Nicely
Hindsight: Work hard, network, be honest. Have fun too!
Managing Up: Manage Up to Move Up
Managing Up: Manager As Partner
Managing Up: New Manager
Managing Up: Questions for your manager
Managing Up: Secret Skills for Managing Up
​
People & Teamwork: Be A Giver
​
People & Teamwork: LinkedIn As Networking
People & Teamwork: Networking Hacks
People & Teamwork: Networking as a Relationship
People & Teamwork: Networking Simplified
People & Teamwork: Teamwork As Leadership
Speedbumps: Chutes & Ladders
​
Speedbumps: Laid Off? Take A Breath
Speedbumps: Layoffs. The Afterlife
Speedbumps: Owning Mistakes
Work Life: Work Culture. America vs. UK
Work Life: Ask Why
Work Life: Be Yourself. Be Genuine
​
Work Life: Browned Out?
Work Life: Business Travel Guide
Work Life: Calendar Management
Work Life: Difficult Situations
Work Life: Focus on Fiyah!
​Work Life: Ghosting
​
Work Life: Help the Early Stage Professionals
Work Life: International Remote Working
Work Life: Pre-Vacation Checklist
Work Life: Smartphones & The Office
​Work Life: Start-Up Glamor
Work Life: Stress Management
Work Life: Take a Walk
​
Work Life: They Quit
Work Life: Unlimited Vacation
Work Life: Welcome the Newbies
Work Life: "Work" from Home

Crushing It @ Work

What Time Should I Start? 
What If I am Running Late? 
Taking Vacation
Sick Days 
Working Outside Office Hours
​
How to prepare for One/Ones
Making Meetings on Time 
Business Presentations 
Social Media, Personal Email and Hanging Out on the Web
Give it Six to Nine Months to Feel @Home
Be Your-professional-self
Staying Positive

Money Talk

The Basics
Retirement Savings Guide

Job Search Must Do's

Resume
The Application Letter 
​
The Free Conundrum: Should You Take an Unpaid Internship?
Informational Interviews 
Taking a Shortcut: Using Your Network 
Dealing with a Low GPA
​Responding to Recruiters
The Job Interview
Interview Questions
Questions You Should Ask
Simulations 
Interviews with Other Applicants
Dealing with References
Negotiating Your Salary
How to Resign (if you already have a job)
​
The First Week
You Don't Get the Job: Getting Feedback
​Keeping Motivated Through the Search

USA Today Columns

How to get started on LinkedIn: Do this, not that
Warning: Avoid smartphone shame at work.  Keep them out of sight
To succeed, be a Giver in the workplace, not a Taker
4 ghoulish personality pitfalls to steer clear of at the office
​
How to coach today's not so entitled Millennials as they join the rat race

Crushing IT

Money

Library

WISE WORDS

Bureaucracy

Copyright © 2016 - 2020
  • Home
  • Getting a job
    • Must Do's - Resume
    • Must Do's - Application Letter
    • Must Do's - Internships
    • Groundwork - Informational Interviews
    • Groundwork - Your Network
    • Groundwork - GPA Issues
    • Groundwork - Recruiters
    • Dealing with Rejection - Feedback
    • Dealing with Rejection - Keeping Motivated
    • Closing the Deal - The Interview
    • Closing the Deal - Interview Q's
    • Closing the Deal - Your Questions
    • Closing the Deal - Simulations
    • Closing the Deal - Group Interviews
    • Closing the Deal - References
    • Signing On - Salary Negotiation
    • Signing On - How to Resign
    • Signing On - First Week
  • Crushing It
    • The Hours - What Time Should I Start
    • The Hours - What If I Am Running Late?
    • The Hours - Taking Vacation
    • The Hours - Sick Days
    • The Hours - Working Outside Office Hours
    • Professional Skills - One/Ones
    • Professional Skills- Making Meetings on Time
    • Professional Skills - Business Presentations
    • Professional Skills - Social Media, Personal Email
    • A Level Head - Feeling @ Home
    • A Level Head - Be YourProfessionalSelf
    • A Level Head- Staying Positive
  • Wise Words
    • Achieve - Focus on the Results
    • Achieve - Leading from the Start
    • Achieve - Showcase Your Work
    • Achieve - Small is BIG
    • Achieve - Take Action
    • Achieve - Your New Job. A Plan
    • Career Management - Annual Review
    • Career Management - Annual Review Feedback Meeting
    • Career Management - Annual Review: How to Guide
    • Career Management - Career Contentment
    • Career Management - Careers Happen
    • Career Management - Career Journey
    • Career Management - Choosing a Mentor
    • Career Management - Discomfort Is Good
    • Career Management - Freelancing and Employment Gaps
    • Career Management - Mentally Healthy Choices
    • Career Management - Mentorship Explained
    • Career Management - Post Graduate Degrees
    • Career Management - Promotion Frustration
    • Career Management - Promotions. Move out to move up
    • Career Management - Selecting Your Company
    • Career Management - Understand Yourself
    • Finances - Preparing for a Downturn
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (1)
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (2)
    • Hindsight - Balance the Short- with Long -term
    • Hindsight - Embrace Learning & Your Manager
    • Hindsight - Focus at Work
    • Hindsight - Millennial Reflections
    • Hindsight - Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
    • Hindsight - Take a Career Mulligan
    • Hindsight - Take Advice Sparingly
    • Hindsight - Transition from College
    • Hindsight - Winning Nicely
    • Hindsight - Work Hard. Be Honest. Have Fun
    • Managing Up - Manager as Partner
    • Managing Up - Manage Up to Move Up
    • Managing Up - Mastering Your Manager
    • Managing Up - New Manager
    • Managing Up - Questions For Your Manager
    • Managing Up - Secret Skills of Managing Up
    • Managing Up - Yes Power
    • People & Teamwork - Be a Giver
    • People & Teamwork - First Time Manager
    • People & Teamwork - LinkedIn as Networking
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Hacks
    • People & Teamwork - Networking as Relationship
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Simplified
    • People & Teamwork - Reputations Travel
    • People & Teamwork - Teamwork as Leadership
    • Sliding Doors - Decision Paths
    • Sliding Doors - Success Requires Luck
    • Speed Bumps - Chutes & Ladders
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs & Survivors Guilt
    • Speed Bumps - Laid Off? Take a Breath
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs. The After Life
    • Speed Bumps - Owning Mistakes
    • Work Life - American Work Culture
    • Work Life - Ask Why
    • Work Life - Be Yourself. Be Genuine
    • Work Life - Browned Out?
    • Work Life - Business Travel Guide
    • Work Life - Calendar Management
    • Work Life - Change is Certain
    • Work Life - Difficult Situations
    • Worklife - Focus on Fiyah
    • Work Life - Ghosting
    • Work Life - Help the Early Stage Professionals
    • Work Life- International Remote Working
    • Work Life - In the Zoom
    • Work Life - Mom Skills
    • Work Life - Office As A Stage
    • Work Life - Office Ghouls
    • Work Life - Pre Vacation Checklist
    • Work Life - Returning to Work
    • Work Life - Smartphones & The Office
    • Work Life - Speak Up
    • Work Life - Stage Fright
    • Work Life - Startup Glamour
    • Work Life - Stress Management
    • Work Life - Take A Walk
    • Work Life - Tasks We Hate
    • Work Life - They Quit
    • Work Life - Unlimited Vacation
    • Worklife - Vacation Overview
    • Work Life - Welcome the Newbies
    • Work Life - "Work" From Home
  • Money
    • Money - The Basics
    • Money - Saving for Retirement
    • Money - Retirement Saving
  • Library
    • Book Reviews
    • Webinar Hub
    • USA Today Columns
    • Buy Early Stage Professional
    • Bureaucracy
  • Help Center
    • Annual Reviews
    • Career Speed Bumps
    • Managing Up
    • Promotions & Career Planning
    • Stress Management