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- Wise Words -
​Bar. Table. Chat.
Networking Simplified.

by mark overmann


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I admit it: I can be awkward at professional networking events. While I’m generally an outgoing person, I’m reluctant to approach strangers.  If I attend a professional event with a group of colleagues, I’ll talk mostly to them.  If I’m there by myself, you might find me near the bar or slowly circling the room to avoid the embarrassment of standing alone.  I’ve heard from many other professionals who’ve expressed similar feelings.
 
Yet for career development, successfully navigating professional events is essential. It can be where crucial business relationships are forged, or where a key connection that leads to a job is made.  If attending events is a part of our jobs (as it is mine), we just can’t avoid them--and we certainly can’t always count on going with colleagues or running into people we know.
 
So how can those of us who struggle with networking events get the most out of them? Here are three easy steps that might help:
 
Head straight to the bar
No, no, not because you need booze to make it through.  This move provides you with an immediate destination when you arrive, something to do when you first walk into the room, other than stand there awkwardly.  Also, you never know who you might meet at, or on the way to, the bar.
 
Table Plan
Once you have your drink, take-a-look around. Look for someone standing alone, or a small group of two or three people.  People standing at a table are ideal, which provides a set location and somewhere I can set my drink or a plate of appetizers.  If there’s an open space at the table, that makes it easier for you to sidle up and join the group.
 
Once you’ve identified your target, simply approach and introduce yourself
Do so not too aggressively—don’t startle your intended target or abruptly interrupt a conversation. But be confident. Don’t linger and wait for your target to notice you.  Use body language to indicate your intention to join (like setting your drink on the standing table), and use introductory language that inserts you, and makes you instantly a part of, the group -- you know, something like: “Hi everyone, I’m Mark.”
 
This cold-turkey approach can be hard for some of us. It is for me. But if there’s one thing I’ve discovered, it’s that people go to professional networking events to meet other people (I know, a groundbreaking insight).  Approaching a new person and starting a conversation is, in fact, something that’s kind of expected at networking events.  Plus, you’d be surprised at how many others in that room, or at that small standing table, are also a bit uncomfortable and/or alone, and will appreciate your proactive approach.
 
While the vague idea of approaching strangers at an event and striking up a conversation can be daunting, a simple “entry plan” such as this makes it vastly more approachable.  Bar, Table, Chat!

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Making it work 
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As an example, it worked well for me recently at a huge DC event with more than 1,000 attendees.  I was going on my own.  I wasn’t sure if I’d run into anyone I know.  So I used my “Bar, Table, Chat” strategy to stave off the awkwardness and it went something like this…
 
Entered the pre-dinner reception. Headed straight for the bar (opted for a gin and tonic on that night, though sometimes I’ll do a beer, or wine, or a sparkling water).  Turned and surveyed the room.  Saw a guy about my age at a standing table by himself, checking his phone.  Approached, set my drink down, said hi, and allowed him to finish what he was doing on his phone. He turned to me, and I introduced myself.
 
Turns out the one guy I chose to talk to, out of a room full of hundreds, grew up ten minutes away from me in Cincinnati, Ohio.  He lives and works at a well-known company back in our hometown, and is good friends with two guys I was friends with back in high school.  Small world, no?  We had a great conversation centered on our Cincinnati connections, and then on our various international work.  During our conversation, a colleague who writes for Foreign Policy magazine spotted me and joined us.  I hadn’t seen him in more than a year, so it was great to catch up. Eventually the dinner began, and we separated to head to our tables.  But the cocktail hour, which I’d been apprehensive about given that I didn’t know anyone, turned out to be time very well spent.  And all because of my three step process.
 
Next time you’re dreading a networking event — or thinking about not going because you won’t know anyone — give this 3-step strategy a try and hope to see you at the bar!

For more on networking see: "Networking as a relationship" and "Taking a shortcut and using your network".


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Mark Overmann is Vice President of External Affairs at InterExchange, an international cultural exchange nonprofit in New York City, and coauthor of Working World: Careers in International Education, Exchange, and Development.  (Georgetown University Press).

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Must Do's

Achieve: Focus on Results
​
Achieve: Leading from the Start
Achieve: Small is BIG
Achieve: Take Action
Career Management: Annual Review. A "How To"
Career Management: Annual Review. As Career Plan
Career Management: Choosing a Mentor
Career Management: Careers Happen
Career Management: Career Journey
Career Management: Mentorship Explained
​
Career Management: Post Graduate Degrees
Career Management: Promotion Frustration 
Career Management: Moving up by moving out
Career Management: Selecting Your Company
Career Management: Understand Yourself
Finances: Retirement Saving (1)
Finances: Retirement Saving (2)
Hindsight: Balance the short- with the long-term
​Hindsight: Embrace learning and your manager
Hindsight: Focus at Work
Hindsight: Millennial Reflections
Hindsight: Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
​Hindsight: Take Advice Sparingly
Hindsight: Take a Career Mulligan
​
Hindsight: Transition from College
Hindsight: Winning Nicely
Hindsight: Work hard, network, be honest. Have fun too!
Managing Up: Manage Up to Move Up
Managing Up: Manager As Partner
Managing Up: New Manager
Managing Up: Questions for your manager
Managing Up: Secret Skills for Managing Up
​
People & Teamwork: Be A Giver
​
People & Teamwork: LinkedIn As Networking
People & Teamwork: Networking Hacks
People & Teamwork: Networking as a Relationship
People & Teamwork: Networking Simplified
People & Teamwork: Teamwork As Leadership
Speedbumps: Chutes & Ladders
​
Speedbumps: Laid Off? Take A Breath
Speedbumps: Layoffs. The Afterlife
Speedbumps: Owning Mistakes
Work Life: Work Culture. America vs. UK
Work Life: Ask Why
Work Life: Be Yourself. Be Genuine
​
Work Life: Browned Out?
Work Life: Business Travel Guide
Work Life: Calendar Management
Work Life: Difficult Situations
Work Life: Focus on Fiyah!
​Work Life: Ghosting
​
Work Life: Help the Early Stage Professionals
Work Life: International Remote Working
Work Life: Pre-Vacation Checklist
Work Life: Smartphones & The Office
​Work Life: Start-Up Glamor
Work Life: Stress Management
Work Life: Take a Walk
​
Work Life: They Quit
Work Life: Unlimited Vacation
Work Life: Welcome the Newbies
Work Life: "Work" from Home

Crushing It @ Work

What Time Should I Start? 
What If I am Running Late? 
Taking Vacation
Sick Days 
Working Outside Office Hours
​
How to prepare for One/Ones
Making Meetings on Time 
Business Presentations 
Social Media, Personal Email and Hanging Out on the Web
Give it Six to Nine Months to Feel @Home
Be Your-professional-self
Staying Positive

Job Search Must Do's

Resume
The Application Letter 
​
The Free Conundrum: Should You Take an Unpaid Internship?
Informational Interviews 
Taking a Shortcut: Using Your Network 
Dealing with a Low GPA
​Responding to Recruiters
The Job Interview
Interview Questions
Questions You Should Ask
Simulations 
Interviews with Other Applicants
Dealing with References
Negotiating Your Salary
How to Resign (if you already have a job)
​
The First Week
You Don't Get the Job: Getting Feedback
​Keeping Motivated Through the Search

USA Today Columns by Fergus Mellon

How to get started on LinkedIn: Do this, not that
Warning: Avoid smartphone shame at work.  Keep them out of sight
To succeed, be a Giver in the workplace, not a Taker
4 ghoulish personality pitfalls to steer clear of at the office
​
How to coach today's not so entitled Millennials as they join the rat race

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  • Home
  • Getting a job
    • Must Do's - Resume
    • Must Do's - Application Letter
    • Must Do's - Internships
    • Groundwork - Informational Interviews
    • Groundwork - Your Network
    • Groundwork - GPA Issues
    • Groundwork - Recruiters
    • Dealing with Rejection - Feedback
    • Dealing with Rejection - Keeping Motivated
    • Closing the Deal - The Interview
    • Closing the Deal - Interview Q's
    • Closing the Deal - Your Questions
    • Closing the Deal - Simulations
    • Closing the Deal - Group Interviews
    • Closing the Deal - References
    • Signing On - Salary Negotiation
    • Signing On - How to Resign
    • Signing On - First Week
  • Crushing It
    • The Hours - What Time Should I Start
    • The Hours - What If I Am Running Late?
    • The Hours - Taking Vacation
    • The Hours - Sick Days
    • The Hours - Working Outside Office Hours
    • Professional Skills - One/Ones
    • Professional Skills- Making Meetings on Time
    • Professional Skills - Business Presentations
    • Professional Skills - Social Media, Personal Email
    • A Level Head - Feeling @ Home
    • A Level Head - Be YourProfessionalSelf
    • A Level Head- Staying Positive
  • Wise Words
    • Achieve - Focus on the Results
    • Achieve - Leading from the Start
    • Achieve - Showcase Your Work
    • Achieve - Small is BIG
    • Achieve - Take Action
    • Achieve - Your New Job. A Plan
    • Career Management - Annual Review
    • Career Management - Annual Review Feedback Meeting
    • Career Management - Annual Review: How to Guide
    • Career Management - Career Contentment
    • Career Management - Careers Happen
    • Career Management - Career Journey
    • Career Management - Choosing a Mentor
    • Career Management - Discomfort Is Good
    • Career Management - Freelancing and Employment Gaps
    • Career Management - Mentally Healthy Choices
    • Career Management - Mentorship Explained
    • Career Management - Post Graduate Degrees
    • Career Management - Promotion Frustration
    • Career Management - Promotions. Move out to move up
    • Career Management - Selecting Your Company
    • Career Management - Understand Yourself
    • Finances - Preparing for a Downturn
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (1)
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (2)
    • Hindsight - Balance the Short- with Long -term
    • Hindsight - Embrace Learning & Your Manager
    • Hindsight - Focus at Work
    • Hindsight - Millennial Reflections
    • Hindsight - Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
    • Hindsight - Take a Career Mulligan
    • Hindsight - Take Advice Sparingly
    • Hindsight - Transition from College
    • Hindsight - Winning Nicely
    • Hindsight - Work Hard. Be Honest. Have Fun
    • Managing Up - Manager as Partner
    • Managing Up - Manage Up to Move Up
    • Managing Up - Mastering Your Manager
    • Managing Up - New Manager
    • Managing Up - Questions For Your Manager
    • Managing Up - Secret Skills of Managing Up
    • Managing Up - Yes Power
    • People & Teamwork - Be a Giver
    • People & Teamwork - Collaboration is Power
    • People & Teamwork - First Time Manager
    • People & Teamwork - LinkedIn as Networking
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Hacks
    • People & Teamwork - Networking as Relationship
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Simplified
    • People & Teamwork - Reputations Travel
    • People & Teamwork - Teamwork as Leadership
    • Sliding Doors - Decision Paths
    • Sliding Doors - Success Requires Luck
    • Speed Bumps - Chutes & Ladders
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs & Survivors Guilt
    • Speed Bumps - Laid Off? Take a Breath
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs. The After Life
    • Speed Bumps - Owning Mistakes
    • Work Life - American Work Culture
    • Work Life - Ask Why
    • Work Life - Be Yourself. Be Genuine
    • Work Life - Browned Out?
    • Work Life - Business Travel Guide
    • Work Life - Calendar Management
    • Work Life - Change is Certain
    • Work Life - Difficult Situations
    • Worklife - Focus on Fiyah
    • Work Life - Ghosting
    • Work Life - Help the Early Stage Professionals
    • Work Life- International Remote Working
    • Work Life - In the Zoom
    • Work Life - Mom Skills
    • Work Life - Office As A Stage
    • Work Life - Office Ghouls
    • Work Life - Pre Vacation Checklist
    • Work Life - Returning to Work
    • Work Life - Smartphones & The Office
    • Work Life - Speak Up
    • Work Life - Stage Fright
    • Work Life - Startup Glamour
    • Work Life - Stress Management
    • Work Life - Take A Walk
    • Work Life - Tasks We Hate
    • Work Life - They Quit
    • Work Life - Unlimited Vacation
    • Worklife - Vacation Overview
    • Work Life - Welcome the Newbies
    • Work Life - "Work" From Home
  • Money
    • Money - The Basics
    • Money - Saving for Retirement
    • Money - Retirement Saving
  • Library
    • Book Reviews
    • Webinar Hub
    • USA Today Columns
    • Buy Early Stage Professional
    • Bureaucracy
  • Help Center
    • Annual Reviews
    • Career Speed Bumps
    • Managing Up
    • Promotions & Career Planning
    • Stress Management