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- Wise Words -
Everyone Is Your Judge & Jury: Professional Reputations Travel  

by Adriana Eberle

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How many times have we heard someone say “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get things done”?

To add to that, the way that workplaces are presented in the media can show that it’s the tough people who get ahead and those who are good to others get left behind. I am a lawyer and my profession is frequently portrayed on TV, the Movies and Netflix as one where we take no prisoners anytime, anyplace. It can be easy to think that this is how we should be in real life, in the office or even in the courthouse!  What I want to say in this column, is that this is not the best way forward and instead building relationships at all levels of an organization that are based on mutual respect is the way to build a career. I am lucky in that I learned this early on and here’s my story.
 
When I was a young prosecutor, I walked through the courthouse as if it was my kingdom. Now for those of you who aren’t trial attorneys you might think that the Judges are the Kings or Queens of the courthouse, but as any causal listener of the Serial podcast knows, the District Attorney, and in my case the Commonwealth Attorney (I practiced in Virginia), really wields all the power. As an Assistant Commonwealth Attorney, I decided which cases saw the light inside a courtroom and what plea offers to make. As such I didn’t pay much attention to all the "subjects" who actually made my kingdom, the courthouse, function. And there were many of them, janitors, bailiffs, clerks, probation officers, court reporters, and the list went on. Every time I left my office and headed to the courtroom, arms filled with files, ready for battle, my determined high heeled steps could be heard all around me. What couldn’t be heard was a “Good morning, how are you doing?” to my subjects.
 
I had no idea what anyone outside of the prosecutor’s office thought of me until I transferred to another District Attorney’s office. At my second job, one of the clerks from my previous courthouse was my legal assistant. Her name was Heather. Heather was a great professional, and person, and we quickly became friends. One day while we were chatting, she revealed to me that she had been anxious when she found out I was joining the office and she was going to work for me: “You were really mean to all the clerks. Nobody liked you”.
 
I was shocked. True, I hadn’t even remembered her as a clerk, but to hear her utter those words was a wake-up call. I guess I never viewed myself as being mean, just busy. I had great relationships with everyone inside the Commonwealth Attorney’s office but I hadn’t really stopped to think about my behavior outside of the office.
 
Too busy and too important for pleasantries. Back then I was all business. The courthouse was my battle ground and good soldiers had no time for idle chatter. Although I hadn’t meant to be rude, that’s exactly what had happened. Everyone who works at a courthouse, or a not-for-profit, or a corporation, talk. They talk and next thing you know you have unintentionally built a reputation. When I set out for my first job out of law school my goal definitely wasn’t to have a reputation that I was mean, but that’s exactly what happened. I wasn’t a mean person, I was nice to everyone in my immediate office. I just didn’t see the bigger picture. I hadn’t stopped to think about all the work that goes into making a courthouse operate smoothly. We were all cogs in one big wheel.
 
Reputations are hard to change and can hinder your career. Nobody wants to work with someone who is known to be mean or rude. Politeness, helpfulness, resourcefulness, those are the qualities we want to surround ourselves with. After Heather revealed what my reputation had been to me, I decided to make a change. I wasn’t a mean person. It wasn’t enough to be nice to the people inside my immediate office, I needed to be nice to the people all around me. The security guards, the bailiffs, the court reporters, everyone. That change in attitude not only made my interactions more pleasant for them, it made my work environment better for me. When you hold the door for someone and they smile at you and say thank you, that response makes you feel good. I don’t know the science behind it but I know it feels good.
 
So, what was my takeaway from Heather’s big reveal?
 
Business is no excuse. Just because you are busy you don’t get a pass at being rude. Nobody is too busy to say hello or hold an elevator door.
Reputations stick with you.  I had no idea that my experience in one prosecutor’s office was going to follow me to a new one. People talk and your future co-workers might end up having an idea formed of what you are like before you even get there.
It feels good to be nice. When I was a pre-teen, I used to get mortified by my dad making jokes with the grocery store cashiers. I was so embarrassed. What I didn’t know then but I do now is that everyone is looking for human interaction. A funny exchange in a crowded elevator, a greeting with a smile, grabbing someone a surprise cup of coffee, those are things that will make everyone’s work day just a little sweeter. 
 
So that’s it, being someone who made space for others did not make me a weaker prosecutor. I was still as determined to do my job as well as I had been when I was the “Queen of the Court”, but knowing I was building relationships with everyone else in the broader team and that it was noticed did make me feel like I was really contributing to others, not just through my work but through my attitude helping make their days better. 
​

​===
Related columns: "Be A Giver", "Embrace Your Manager", "Teamwork As Leadership", "Be The Genuine Article"

​Adriana Eberle is a criminal defense attorney in the San Francisco Bay area and can be contacted at: adriana@eberlaw.com

===
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More Wise Words...

Achieve: Focus on Results
​
Achieve: Leading from the Start
Achieve: Small is BIG
Achieve: Take Action
Career Management: Annual Review. A "How To"
Career Management: Annual Review. As Career Plan
Career Management: Choosing a Mentor
Career Management: Careers Happen
Career Management: Career Journey
Career Management: Mentorship Explained
​
Career Management: Post Graduate Degrees
Career Management: Promotion Frustration 
Career Management: Moving up by moving out
Career Management: Selecting Your Company
Career Management: Understand Yourself
Finances: Retirement Saving (1)
Finances: Retirement Saving (2)
Hindsight: Balance the short- with the long-term
​Hindsight: Embrace learning and your manager
Hindsight: Focus at Work
Hindsight: Millennial Reflections
Hindsight: Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
​Hindsight: Take Advice Sparingly
Hindsight: Take a Career Mulligan
​
Hindsight: Transition from College
Hindsight: Winning Nicely
Hindsight: Work hard, network, be honest. Have fun too!
Managing Up: Manage Up to Move Up
Managing Up: Manager As Partner
Managing Up: New Manager
Managing Up: Questions for your manager
Managing Up: Secret Skills for Managing Up
​
People & Teamwork: Be A Giver
​
People & Teamwork: LinkedIn As Networking
People & Teamwork: Networking Hacks
People & Teamwork: Networking as a Relationship
People & Teamwork: Networking Simplified
People & Teamwork: Teamwork As Leadership
Speedbumps: Chutes & Ladders
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Speedbumps: Laid Off? Take A Breath
Speedbumps: Layoffs. The Afterlife
Speedbumps: Owning Mistakes
Work Life: Work Culture. America vs. UK
Work Life: Ask Why
Work Life: Be Yourself. Be Genuine
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Work Life: Browned Out?
Work Life: Business Travel Guide
Work Life: Calendar Management
Work Life: Difficult Situations
Work Life: Focus on Fiyah!
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Work Life: Help the Early Stage Professionals
Work Life: International Remote Working
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Work Life: Smartphones & The Office
​Work Life: Start-Up Glamor
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Work Life: They Quit
Work Life: Unlimited Vacation
Work Life: Welcome the Newbies
Work Life: "Work" from Home

Crushing It @ Work

What Time Should I Start? 
What If I am Running Late? 
Taking Vacation
Sick Days 
Working Outside Office Hours
​
How to prepare for One/Ones
Making Meetings on Time 
Business Presentations 
Social Media, Personal Email and Hanging Out on the Web
Give it Six to Nine Months to Feel @Home
Be Your-professional-self
Staying Positive

Money Talk

The Basics
Retirement Savings Guide

Job Search Must Do's

Resume
The Application Letter 
​
The Free Conundrum: Should You Take an Unpaid Internship?
Informational Interviews 
Taking a Shortcut: Using Your Network 
Dealing with a Low GPA
​Responding to Recruiters
The Job Interview
Interview Questions
Questions You Should Ask
Simulations 
Interviews with Other Applicants
Dealing with References
Negotiating Your Salary
How to Resign (if you already have a job)
​
The First Week
You Don't Get the Job: Getting Feedback
​Keeping Motivated Through the Search

USA Today Columns

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Warning: Avoid smartphone shame at work.  Keep them out of sight
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4 ghoulish personality pitfalls to steer clear of at the office
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How to coach today's not so entitled Millennials as they join the rat race

Crushing IT

Money

Library

WISE WORDS

Bureaucracy

Copyright © 2016 - 2020
  • Home
  • Getting a job
    • Must Do's - Resume
    • Must Do's - Application Letter
    • Must Do's - Internships
    • Groundwork - Informational Interviews
    • Groundwork - Your Network
    • Groundwork - GPA Issues
    • Groundwork - Recruiters
    • Dealing with Rejection - Feedback
    • Dealing with Rejection - Keeping Motivated
    • Closing the Deal - The Interview
    • Closing the Deal - Interview Q's
    • Closing the Deal - Your Questions
    • Closing the Deal - Simulations
    • Closing the Deal - Group Interviews
    • Closing the Deal - References
    • Signing On - Salary Negotiation
    • Signing On - How to Resign
    • Signing On - First Week
  • Crushing It
    • The Hours - What Time Should I Start
    • The Hours - What If I Am Running Late?
    • The Hours - Taking Vacation
    • The Hours - Sick Days
    • The Hours - Working Outside Office Hours
    • Professional Skills - One/Ones
    • Professional Skills- Making Meetings on Time
    • Professional Skills - Business Presentations
    • Professional Skills - Social Media, Personal Email
    • A Level Head - Feeling @ Home
    • A Level Head - Be YourProfessionalSelf
    • A Level Head- Staying Positive
  • Wise Words
    • Achieve - Focus on the Results
    • Achieve - Leading from the Start
    • Achieve - Showcase Your Work
    • Achieve - Small is BIG
    • Achieve - Take Action
    • Achieve - Your New Job. A Plan
    • Career Management - Annual Review
    • Career Management - Annual Review Feedback Meeting
    • Career Management - Annual Review: How to Guide
    • Career Management - Career Contentment
    • Career Management - Careers Happen
    • Career Management - Career Journey
    • Career Management - Choosing a Mentor
    • Career Management - Discomfort Is Good
    • Career Management - Freelancing and Employment Gaps
    • Career Management - Mentally Healthy Choices
    • Career Management - Mentorship Explained
    • Career Management - Post Graduate Degrees
    • Career Management - Promotion Frustration
    • Career Management - Promotions. Move out to move up
    • Career Management - Selecting Your Company
    • Career Management - Understand Yourself
    • Finances - Preparing for a Downturn
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (1)
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (2)
    • Hindsight - Balance the Short- with Long -term
    • Hindsight - Embrace Learning & Your Manager
    • Hindsight - Focus at Work
    • Hindsight - Millennial Reflections
    • Hindsight - Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
    • Hindsight - Take a Career Mulligan
    • Hindsight - Take Advice Sparingly
    • Hindsight - Transition from College
    • Hindsight - Winning Nicely
    • Hindsight - Work Hard. Be Honest. Have Fun
    • Managing Up - Manager as Partner
    • Managing Up - Manage Up to Move Up
    • Managing Up - Mastering Your Manager
    • Managing Up - New Manager
    • Managing Up - Questions For Your Manager
    • Managing Up - Secret Skills of Managing Up
    • Managing Up - Yes Power
    • People & Teamwork - Be a Giver
    • People & Teamwork - Collaboration is Power
    • People & Teamwork - First Time Manager
    • People & Teamwork - LinkedIn as Networking
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Hacks
    • People & Teamwork - Networking as Relationship
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Simplified
    • People & Teamwork - Reputations Travel
    • People & Teamwork - Teamwork as Leadership
    • Sliding Doors - Decision Paths
    • Sliding Doors - Success Requires Luck
    • Speed Bumps - Chutes & Ladders
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs & Survivors Guilt
    • Speed Bumps - Laid Off? Take a Breath
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs. The After Life
    • Speed Bumps - Owning Mistakes
    • Work Life - American Work Culture
    • Work Life - Ask Why
    • Work Life - Be Yourself. Be Genuine
    • Work Life - Browned Out?
    • Work Life - Business Travel Guide
    • Work Life - Calendar Management
    • Work Life - Change is Certain
    • Work Life - Difficult Situations
    • Worklife - Focus on Fiyah
    • Work Life - Ghosting
    • Work Life - Help the Early Stage Professionals
    • Work Life- International Remote Working
    • Work Life - In the Zoom
    • Work Life - Mom Skills
    • Work Life - Office As A Stage
    • Work Life - Office Ghouls
    • Work Life - Pre Vacation Checklist
    • Work Life - Returning to Work
    • Work Life - Smartphones & The Office
    • Work Life - Speak Up
    • Work Life - Stage Fright
    • Work Life - Startup Glamour
    • Work Life - Stress Management
    • Work Life - Take A Walk
    • Work Life - Tasks We Hate
    • Work Life - They Quit
    • Work Life - Unlimited Vacation
    • Worklife - Vacation Overview
    • Work Life - Welcome the Newbies
    • Work Life - "Work" From Home
  • Money
    • Money - The Basics
    • Money - Saving for Retirement
    • Money - Retirement Saving
  • Library
    • Book Reviews
    • Webinar Hub
    • USA Today Columns
    • Buy Early Stage Professional
    • Bureaucracy
  • Help Center
    • Annual Reviews
    • Career Speed Bumps
    • Managing Up
    • Promotions & Career Planning
    • Stress Management