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- Wise Words -
To Crush It, Partner With Your Manager
by aurelia duke

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Aurelia Duke has worked in both New York and Paris for Cosmetics and Media businesses.  Despite lipstick and advertising being very different products, being a professional in both industries requires very similar skills.  In this column, Aurelia focuses on the lessons she learnt on the way to becoming a seasoned professional: partnership with her manager, working through other's errors and not taking "things" too personally.  

None easy topics!

​
Your Manager as a Partner
Working in the corporate sector after film school was not an easy transition for me. Looking back, though, I realize how fortunate I was to start my career with amazing bosses who saw my potential and developed me, and to them I say thank you!  That said I had to learn some serious lessons on my route to being a "professional", like the majority of us do. 

Listen To Your Manager.  Trust Your Manager.  It's a Partnership
You can learn much and learn it more quickly by listening to those with experience and partnering with your manager.  

On entering the workplace, I couldn't help looking down at "the suits".  I was a creative after all!  I just didn’t trust "managers".  I thought them power hungry and out for their own interests. I wish I had spent less time resisting my first bosses who did so much to recognize my skills and potential and who trained and mentored me while pushing me outside my comfort zone.

It took time to open up to my managers, but they became my mentors and encouraged me to take on more responsibilities and grow!  My first “real” corporate job in Paris was working at Mexx France’s headquarters. I started there as a temp. One day, almost out of nowhere, a loud Parisian woman asked me to do more.  I am also a loud Parisian woman!  She wanted me to track sales using this alien "Suit Software" called Excel.  And then she asked me to do competitive reports.  I had never used Excel before. I thought she was mad and told her I was hired to do admin work only.

She insisted, saying that I spoke English so I could do anything.  She explained that Excel was just another language.

Crazy lady, right?!?
​
Through her belief in me I was able not just to conquer "Suit Software", but also gained a promotion.  In my new job I learned all about business and sales analysis, helped her manage a national sales force, and took on payroll and commission for the company. I was not even 25 and owe this great experience to this manager who believed in and pushed me. ​
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Dealing with (Other People's) Mistakes
What took me longer to learn was to not blame others when something went wrong.

As an Early Stage Professional I was not sensitive enough to realize how important it is to handle other people's mistakes with grace.  I will always remember when one of my bosses at L’Oreal coached me through this development area. We were in a meeting and some numbers were wrong. It happens. When my boss looked at me and asked if I thought the numbers were correct, I said they weren't and then blurted out that a colleague of mine was the one who gave them to me and it was their fault.

Oops.

I remember my colleague going red in the face while everyone looked at her.  At the end of the meeting my boss asked me to stay behind.  She pointed out that in blaming another team member I had not behaved well.  I was mortified. In being so caught up in needing things to be black or white, I had been insensitive to another person.  It was a bad habit and once my manager flagged it to me I took the time to change and be more understanding of others.

What I do now: I now strive to always give positive credit to others, and will happily take the blame if it can help not waste time in pointing fingers and finding a solution.

​
It's Not Personal.
My biggest mistake as an Early Stage Professional was taking things way too personally. It’s great to be committed, to care about what you do and to want do things right.  However, when you care too much you can take things too personally, be too critical of others and also risk getting emotionally too involved and exhausted.  And all of this for no real reason.

Work is not personal. It’s work.

There is absolutely no need to feel personally offended by what happens in the work place, unless it’s discriminatory or harassment.  I remember when I was 25 or 26 years old working at L’Oreal and my boss, who was this incredible super smart young force of nature, kept losing or misplacing all the reports that I had filed for her. She would keep coming into my office asking for the same print outs.

It drove me nuts. I was convinced she did it on purpose, thought little of me and that my time didn’t matter to her.  I ended up melting-down.

What I failed to notice was my boss was under a lot of pressure, had an extremely small team and was running at 100 miles per hour just to keep up.  She was always being pulled into meetings, always asked to justify every single thing she did. Looking back, I am completely puzzled by my reaction. It still makes no sense, but I am not alone.  Through my years as a professional I have witnessed many employees taking personally what their boss did or didn’t do, when they shouldn't have. 
​
Instead try to give your manager the benefit of the doubt and do your best to put yourself in their shoes (not easy when you are new to the workplace) and understand where they are coming from.  This will help you no end.
​
So in the end I guess my advice is simple: embrace learning from those with experience, don’t blame anyone for being wrong (we all get it wrong at least once a year ok maybe at least once a week!), and don’t take things personally in the corporate world.


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Aurelia Duke has worked in both New York and Paris for Cosmetics and Media businesses. Despite lipstick and advertising being very different products, being a professional in both industries requires very similar skills. 



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In the first 5 years or so of your career?  Want actionable career advice?  
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​Like this section?  Why not send your own "Early Stage Professional:" advice and experience in? Just email it to: fergus@whattheferg.com

More Wise Words...

Achieve: Focus on Results
​
Achieve: Leading from the Start
Achieve: Small is BIG
Achieve: Take Action
Career Management: Annual Review. A "How To"
Career Management: Annual Review. As Career Plan
Career Management: Choosing a Mentor
Career Management: Careers Happen
Career Management: Career Journey
Career Management: Mentorship Explained
​
Career Management: Post Graduate Degrees
Career Management: Promotion Frustration 
Career Management: Moving up by moving out
Career Management: Selecting Your Company
Career Management: Understand Yourself
Finances: Retirement Saving (1)
Finances: Retirement Saving (2)
Hindsight: Balance the short- with the long-term
​Hindsight: Embrace learning and your manager
Hindsight: Focus at Work
Hindsight: Millennial Reflections
Hindsight: Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
​Hindsight: Take Advice Sparingly
Hindsight: Take a Career Mulligan
​
Hindsight: Transition from College
Hindsight: Winning Nicely
Hindsight: Work hard, network, be honest. Have fun too!
Managing Up: Manage Up to Move Up
Managing Up: Manager As Partner
Managing Up: New Manager
Managing Up: Questions for your manager
Managing Up: Secret Skills for Managing Up
​
People & Teamwork: Be A Giver
​
People & Teamwork: LinkedIn As Networking
People & Teamwork: Networking Hacks
People & Teamwork: Networking as a Relationship
People & Teamwork: Networking Simplified
People & Teamwork: Teamwork As Leadership
Speedbumps: Chutes & Ladders
​
Speedbumps: Laid Off? Take A Breath
Speedbumps: Layoffs. The Afterlife
Speedbumps: Owning Mistakes
Work Life: Work Culture. America vs. UK
Work Life: Ask Why
Work Life: Be Yourself. Be Genuine
​
Work Life: Browned Out?
Work Life: Business Travel Guide
Work Life: Calendar Management
Work Life: Difficult Situations
Work Life: Focus on Fiyah!
​Work Life: Ghosting
​
Work Life: Help the Early Stage Professionals
Work Life: International Remote Working
Work Life: Pre-Vacation Checklist
Work Life: Smartphones & The Office
​Work Life: Start-Up Glamor
Work Life: Stress Management
Work Life: Take a Walk
​
Work Life: They Quit
Work Life: Unlimited Vacation
Work Life: Welcome the Newbies
Work Life: "Work" from Home

Crushing It @ Work

What Time Should I Start? 
What If I am Running Late? 
Taking Vacation
Sick Days 
Working Outside Office Hours
​
How to prepare for One/Ones
Making Meetings on Time 
Business Presentations 
Social Media, Personal Email and Hanging Out on the Web
Give it Six to Nine Months to Feel @Home
Be Your-professional-self
Staying Positive

Money Talk

The Basics
Retirement Savings Guide

Job Search Must Do's

Resume
The Application Letter 
​
The Free Conundrum: Should You Take an Unpaid Internship?
Informational Interviews 
Taking a Shortcut: Using Your Network 
Dealing with a Low GPA
​Responding to Recruiters
The Job Interview
Interview Questions
Questions You Should Ask
Simulations 
Interviews with Other Applicants
Dealing with References
Negotiating Your Salary
How to Resign (if you already have a job)
​
The First Week
You Don't Get the Job: Getting Feedback
​Keeping Motivated Through the Search

USA Today Columns by Fergus Mellon

How to get started on LinkedIn: Do this, not that
Warning: Avoid smartphone shame at work.  Keep them out of sight
To succeed, be a Giver in the workplace, not a Taker
4 ghoulish personality pitfalls to steer clear of at the office
​
How to coach today's not so entitled Millennials as they join the rat race

Crushing IT

Money

Library

WISE WORDS

Bureaucracy

Copyright © 2016 - 2020
  • Home
  • Getting a job
    • Must Do's - Resume
    • Must Do's - Application Letter
    • Must Do's - Internships
    • Groundwork - Informational Interviews
    • Groundwork - Your Network
    • Groundwork - GPA Issues
    • Groundwork - Recruiters
    • Dealing with Rejection - Feedback
    • Dealing with Rejection - Keeping Motivated
    • Closing the Deal - The Interview
    • Closing the Deal - Interview Q's
    • Closing the Deal - Your Questions
    • Closing the Deal - Simulations
    • Closing the Deal - Group Interviews
    • Closing the Deal - References
    • Signing On - Salary Negotiation
    • Signing On - How to Resign
    • Signing On - First Week
  • Crushing It
    • The Hours - What Time Should I Start
    • The Hours - What If I Am Running Late?
    • The Hours - Taking Vacation
    • The Hours - Sick Days
    • The Hours - Working Outside Office Hours
    • Professional Skills - One/Ones
    • Professional Skills- Making Meetings on Time
    • Professional Skills - Business Presentations
    • Professional Skills - Social Media, Personal Email
    • A Level Head - Feeling @ Home
    • A Level Head - Be YourProfessionalSelf
    • A Level Head- Staying Positive
  • Wise Words
    • Achieve - Focus on the Results
    • Achieve - Leading from the Start
    • Achieve - Showcase Your Work
    • Achieve - Small is BIG
    • Achieve - Take Action
    • Achieve - Your New Job. A Plan
    • Career Management - Annual Review
    • Career Management - Annual Review Feedback Meeting
    • Career Management - Annual Review: How to Guide
    • Career Management - Career Contentment
    • Career Management - Careers Happen
    • Career Management - Career Journey
    • Career Management - Choosing a Mentor
    • Career Management - Discomfort Is Good
    • Career Management - Freelancing and Employment Gaps
    • Career Management - Mentally Healthy Choices
    • Career Management - Mentorship Explained
    • Career Management - Post Graduate Degrees
    • Career Management - Promotion Frustration
    • Career Management - Promotions. Move out to move up
    • Career Management - Selecting Your Company
    • Career Management - Understand Yourself
    • Finances - Preparing for a Downturn
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (1)
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (2)
    • Hindsight - Balance the Short- with Long -term
    • Hindsight - Embrace Learning & Your Manager
    • Hindsight - Focus at Work
    • Hindsight - Millennial Reflections
    • Hindsight - Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
    • Hindsight - Take a Career Mulligan
    • Hindsight - Take Advice Sparingly
    • Hindsight - Transition from College
    • Hindsight - Winning Nicely
    • Hindsight - Work Hard. Be Honest. Have Fun
    • Managing Up - Manager as Partner
    • Managing Up - Manage Up to Move Up
    • Managing Up - Mastering Your Manager
    • Managing Up - New Manager
    • Managing Up - Questions For Your Manager
    • Managing Up - Secret Skills of Managing Up
    • Managing Up - Yes Power
    • People & Teamwork - Be a Giver
    • People & Teamwork - First Time Manager
    • People & Teamwork - LinkedIn as Networking
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Hacks
    • People & Teamwork - Networking as Relationship
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Simplified
    • People & Teamwork - Reputations Travel
    • People & Teamwork - Teamwork as Leadership
    • Sliding Doors - Decision Paths
    • Sliding Doors - Success Requires Luck
    • Speed Bumps - Chutes & Ladders
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs & Survivors Guilt
    • Speed Bumps - Laid Off? Take a Breath
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs. The After Life
    • Speed Bumps - Owning Mistakes
    • Work Life - American Work Culture
    • Work Life - Ask Why
    • Work Life - Be Yourself. Be Genuine
    • Work Life - Browned Out?
    • Work Life - Business Travel Guide
    • Work Life - Calendar Management
    • Work Life - Change is Certain
    • Work Life - Difficult Situations
    • Worklife - Focus on Fiyah
    • Work Life - Ghosting
    • Work Life - Help the Early Stage Professionals
    • Work Life- International Remote Working
    • Work Life - In the Zoom
    • Work Life - Mom Skills
    • Work Life - Office As A Stage
    • Work Life - Office Ghouls
    • Work Life - Pre Vacation Checklist
    • Work Life - Returning to Work
    • Work Life - Smartphones & The Office
    • Work Life - Speak Up
    • Work Life - Stage Fright
    • Work Life - Startup Glamour
    • Work Life - Stress Management
    • Work Life - Take A Walk
    • Work Life - Tasks We Hate
    • Work Life - They Quit
    • Work Life - Unlimited Vacation
    • Worklife - Vacation Overview
    • Work Life - Welcome the Newbies
    • Work Life - "Work" From Home
  • Money
    • Money - The Basics
    • Money - Saving for Retirement
    • Money - Retirement Saving
  • Library
    • Book Reviews
    • Webinar Hub
    • USA Today Columns
    • Buy Early Stage Professional
    • Bureaucracy
  • Help Center
    • Annual Reviews
    • Career Speed Bumps
    • Managing Up
    • Promotions & Career Planning
    • Stress Management