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- Wise Words -
Why it's good to give,
​especially at work

by fergus mellon

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It may seem smart to focus on yourself at work to get a raise or a promotion or just plain recognition, but one of your best chances at getting ahead could be by helping the people around you to succeed instead.
There is a great book that describes how taking a more selfless approach can end up benefiting the “giver” many times over. In Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, Adam Grant describes three personality types:
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  • Givers: Give without expecting anything in return.
  • Matchers: Give but expect something in return.
  • Takers: Do exactly what their name suggests.

Guess who are the good guys? The Givers. Guess who are the success stories? Yup, the Givers! And the Takers are not just the bad guys, but as the book explains, in this hyper-connected world they end up losing as they will be revealed for what they are, “users.”

Here are some ideas on how to give to others in your company...

Recognize Others’ Success. While it might seem that by helping others look good, you will take attention away from yourself, this is not the case. By being a cheerleader for your direct reports and your co-workers you also help yourself.

Why? Think about it. When you received genuine recognition from your manager or a colleague, you probably thought: “Wow a [colleague] [manager] of mine thinks I am great.” Your next thought might be: “What an amazing person that [colleague] [manager] is. They really helped me. I should look out for them, too.”

So, when you are the one who gives credit or praise you benefit by increasing your own fan base. By being a decent person, you could find the reputation stays with you and so benefits you throughout the rest of your 45+-year career.

There is also the fact that you will look like a leader in your organization by championing the work of others. That’s something well-managed companies prize. Who knows, by being the cheerleader for others’ great work, you could be making steps towards your next promotion!

Give Job Referrals. There may be times when you get an email from a recruiter or a former colleague asking you if you would like to apply for a job and you just aren’t interested. The easy thing to do is to ignore the email or just say, “Thanks, but I am not looking right now.” That’s a mistake. Instead, think of others in your network who may want the job and give them a shout-out.

Why? Because it builds a good relationship with the recruiter (win), and it lets the people I referred know that I am looking out for them so they will also likely look out for me in the future (win).

Oh, and sometimes the recruiters pay a referral fee to boot!

Be a Great Reference. If you agree to be a reference, be a great one! If you feel uncomfortable putting your professional reputation on the line for an individual, my advice would be to politely decline the request. You can decline on the basis that you no longer know enough about the individual, or say you have too much going on to do a really good job. I really would not recommend being a “reluctant reference.”

To be a good reference. I not only think of all the good qualities of the individual, but I also try to prep with the candidate. I ask what their core messages were during the interview so that I can think of examples to help drive home the point.

In order to be a credible reference, I also am ready to give areas where the person needs to improve. For example, “When we worked together, this was a development area, and Jim took the feedback well and did X, Y and Z to overcome this.” Make sure that whatever you say, you would be happy saying it to their face.

Oh and when I have been that “great reference,” I have more often than not received a nice bottle of wine in the mail. Even if not, the people for whom I acted as a reference know that I have their “professional back,” which has strengthened the relationships that I have with people at all stages of their careers.

Hope these simple strategies for giving prove as useful to you as they have for me!

===
Related columns - "Getting Started on LinkedIn", "Networking as a Relationship", "Be Yourself. Be Genuine"

First published in USA Today, "To succeed be a Giver in the workplace and not a Taker"

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Fergus Mellon is author of Early Stage Professional: starting off right.  He is also a digital media executive and has worked at a mix of large media companies (AOL, Gannett), start-ups (PebblePost, Meebo, Federated Media) as well as adtech (Criteo, Rubicon Project).

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In the first 5 years or so of your career?  Want actionable career advice?  Buy Early Stage Professional: starting off right, the no nonsense professional skills book designed so that everyone can succeed in the workplace!  


More Wise Words...

Achieve: Focus on Results
​
Achieve: Leading from the Start
Achieve: Small is BIG
Achieve: Take Action
Career Management: Annual Review. A "How To"
Career Management: Annual Review. As Career Plan
Career Management: Choosing a Mentor
Career Management: Careers Happen
Career Management: Career Journey
Career Management: Mentorship Explained
​
Career Management: Post Graduate Degrees
Career Management: Promotion Frustration 
Career Management: Moving up by moving out
Career Management: Selecting Your Company
Career Management: Understand Yourself
Finances: Retirement Saving (1)
Finances: Retirement Saving (2)
Hindsight: Balance the short- with the long-term
​Hindsight: Embrace learning and your manager
Hindsight: Focus at Work
Hindsight: Millennial Reflections
Hindsight: Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
​Hindsight: Take Advice Sparingly
Hindsight: Take a Career Mulligan
​
Hindsight: Transition from College
Hindsight: Winning Nicely
Hindsight: Work hard, network, be honest. Have fun too!
Managing Up: Manage Up to Move Up
Managing Up: Manager As Partner
Managing Up: New Manager
Managing Up: Questions for your manager
Managing Up: Secret Skills for Managing Up
​
People & Teamwork: Be A Giver
​
People & Teamwork: LinkedIn As Networking
People & Teamwork: Networking Hacks
People & Teamwork: Networking as a Relationship
People & Teamwork: Networking Simplified
People & Teamwork: Teamwork As Leadership
Speedbumps: Chutes & Ladders
​
Speedbumps: Laid Off? Take A Breath
Speedbumps: Layoffs. The Afterlife
Speedbumps: Owning Mistakes
Work Life: Work Culture. America vs. UK
Work Life: Ask Why
Work Life: Be Yourself. Be Genuine
​
Work Life: Browned Out?
Work Life: Business Travel Guide
Work Life: Calendar Management
Work Life: Difficult Situations
Work Life: Focus on Fiyah!
​Work Life: Ghosting
​
Work Life: Help the Early Stage Professionals
Work Life: International Remote Working
Work Life: Pre-Vacation Checklist
Work Life: Smartphones & The Office
​Work Life: Start-Up Glamor
Work Life: Stress Management
Work Life: Take a Walk
​
Work Life: They Quit
Work Life: Unlimited Vacation
Work Life: Welcome the Newbies
Work Life: "Work" from Home

Crushing It @ Work

What Time Should I Start? 
What If I am Running Late? 
Taking Vacation
Sick Days 
Working Outside Office Hours
​
How to prepare for One/Ones
Making Meetings on Time 
Business Presentations 
Social Media, Personal Email and Hanging Out on the Web
Give it Six to Nine Months to Feel @Home
Be Your-professional-self
Staying Positive

Job Search Must Do's

Resume
The Application Letter 
​
The Free Conundrum: Should You Take an Unpaid Internship?
Informational Interviews 
Taking a Shortcut: Using Your Network 
Dealing with a Low GPA
​Responding to Recruiters
The Job Interview
Interview Questions
Questions You Should Ask
Simulations 
Interviews with Other Applicants
Dealing with References
Negotiating Your Salary
How to Resign (if you already have a job)
​
The First Week
You Don't Get the Job: Getting Feedback
​Keeping Motivated Through the Search

USA Today Columns by Fergus Mellon

How to get started on LinkedIn: Do this, not that
Warning: Avoid smartphone shame at work.  Keep them out of sight
To succeed, be a Giver in the workplace, not a Taker
4 ghoulish personality pitfalls to steer clear of at the office
​
How to coach today's not so entitled Millennials as they join the rat race

Crushing IT

Money

Library

WISE WORDS

Bureaucracy

Copyright © 2016 - 2020
  • Home
  • Getting a job
    • Must Do's - Resume
    • Must Do's - Application Letter
    • Must Do's - Internships
    • Groundwork - Informational Interviews
    • Groundwork - Your Network
    • Groundwork - GPA Issues
    • Groundwork - Recruiters
    • Dealing with Rejection - Feedback
    • Dealing with Rejection - Keeping Motivated
    • Closing the Deal - The Interview
    • Closing the Deal - Interview Q's
    • Closing the Deal - Your Questions
    • Closing the Deal - Simulations
    • Closing the Deal - Group Interviews
    • Closing the Deal - References
    • Signing On - Salary Negotiation
    • Signing On - How to Resign
    • Signing On - First Week
  • Crushing It
    • The Hours - What Time Should I Start
    • The Hours - What If I Am Running Late?
    • The Hours - Taking Vacation
    • The Hours - Sick Days
    • The Hours - Working Outside Office Hours
    • Professional Skills - One/Ones
    • Professional Skills- Making Meetings on Time
    • Professional Skills - Business Presentations
    • Professional Skills - Social Media, Personal Email
    • A Level Head - Feeling @ Home
    • A Level Head - Be YourProfessionalSelf
    • A Level Head- Staying Positive
  • Wise Words
    • Achieve - Focus on the Results
    • Achieve - Leading from the Start
    • Achieve - Showcase Your Work
    • Achieve - Small is BIG
    • Achieve - Take Action
    • Achieve - Your New Job. A Plan
    • Career Management - Annual Review
    • Career Management - Annual Review Feedback Meeting
    • Career Management - Annual Review: How to Guide
    • Career Management - Career Contentment
    • Career Management - Careers Happen
    • Career Management - Career Journey
    • Career Management - Choosing a Mentor
    • Career Management - Discomfort Is Good
    • Career Management - Freelancing and Employment Gaps
    • Career Management - Mentorship Explained
    • Career Management - Post Graduate Degrees
    • Career Management - Promotion Frustration
    • Career Management - Promotions. Move out to move up
    • Career Management - Selecting Your Company
    • Career Management - Understand Yourself
    • Finances - Preparing for a Downturn
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (1)
    • Finances - Retirement Saving (2)
    • Hindsight - Balance the Short- with Long -term
    • Hindsight - Embrace Learning & Your Manager
    • Hindsight - Focus at Work
    • Hindsight - Millennial Reflections
    • Hindsight - Regrets: Time, Money & Pride
    • Hindsight - Take a Career Mulligan
    • Hindsight - Take Advice Sparingly
    • Hindsight - Transition from College
    • Hindsight - Winning Nicely
    • Hindsight - Work Hard. Be Honest. Have Fun
    • Managing Up - Manager as Partner
    • Managing Up - Manage Up to Move Up
    • Managing Up - Mastering Your Manager
    • Managing Up - New Manager
    • Managing Up - Questions For Your Manager
    • Managing Up - Secret Skills of Managing Up
    • Managing Up - Yes Power
    • People & Teamwork - Be a Giver
    • People & Teamwork - LinkedIn as Networking
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Hacks
    • People & Teamwork - Networking as Relationship
    • People & Teamwork - Networking Simplified
    • People & Teamwork - Reputations Travel
    • People & Teamwork - Teamwork as Leadership
    • Sliding Doors - Decision Paths
    • Sliding Doors - Success Requires Luck
    • Speed Bumps - Chutes & Ladders
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs & Survivors Guilt
    • Speed Bumps - Laid Off? Take a Breath
    • Speed Bumps - Layoffs. The After Life
    • Speed Bumps - Owning Mistakes
    • Work Life - American Work Culture
    • Work Life - Ask Why
    • Work Life - Be Yourself. Be Genuine
    • Work Life - Browned Out?
    • Work Life - Business Travel Guide
    • Work Life - Calendar Management
    • Work Life - Change is Certain
    • Work Life - Difficult Situations
    • Worklife - Focus on Fiyah
    • Work Life - Ghosting
    • Work Life - Help the Early Stage Professionals
    • Work Life- International Remote Working
    • Work Life - In the Zoom
    • Work Life - Mom Skills
    • Work Life - Office As A Stage
    • Work Life - Office Ghouls
    • Work Life - Pre Vacation Checklist
    • Work Life - Returning to Work
    • Work Life - Smartphones & The Office
    • Work Life - Speak Up
    • Work Life - Stage Fright
    • Work Life - Startup Glamour
    • Work Life - Stress Management
    • Work Life - Take A Walk
    • Work Life - Tasks We Hate
    • Work Life - They Quit
    • Work Life - Unlimited Vacation
    • Worklife - Vacation Overview
    • Work Life - Welcome the Newbies
    • Work Life - "Work" From Home
  • Money
    • Money - The Basics
    • Money - Saving for Retirement
    • Money - Retirement Saving
  • Library
    • Book Reviews
    • Webinar Hub
    • USA Today Columns
    • Buy Early Stage Professional
    • Bureaucracy
  • Help Center
    • Annual Reviews
    • Career Speed Bumps
    • Managing Up
    • Promotions & Career Planning
    • Stress Management